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People who are lower in trust—those who lack confidence in their partner's positive regard for and responsiveness to them—have more difficulty in their relationships than do those higher in trust. Unfortunately, it is difficult to show caring, and hence build trust, for people lower in trust. Kind acts that should convey caring, such as complimenting or providing support, are often not received well by those lower in trust. In the current research, we propose a subtle, low-threat care signal that we hypothesized would be effective for people lower in trust: Asking a partner “how was your day?” Across five studies, we demonstrate that this seemingly insignificant question has a powerful effect on people lower in trust. We first showed that people lower (but not higher) in trust felt more satisfied in their relationships when they reported that their partners asked about their day, both in general (Study 1) and on that day (Study 2). Three studies provided experimental evidence. In Study 3, a manipulation of asking about a partner's day showed that doing so conveys care. In Study 4, lower trust people felt more cared for by their partners when induced to perceive that their partners ask more (vs. less) frequently. Finally, in a controlled lab setting (Study 5), people lower in trust felt more cared for when their partners asked about their experiences versus when their partners did not ask. These findings may offer a way to improve low trust people's relationships. |
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